Dragon’s Den knobber breathes new life into Jessops

Just when you thought you had nowhere to develop your 35mm, along comes famous Dragon’s Den cock Peter Jones with a £5m cash injection for the troubled camera store.

And instead of hiding the brand away online, the permatanned money-spinning goon is set to unveil a host of flagship stores in London’s Oxford Street, Birmingham, Manchester and even High Wycombe.

Jones is feeling so optimistic he’s giving it big high street presence, and intends to open a store a day in April in his new role as chief executive, bringing the total amount of UK stores to 40. The move will create 500 jobs and he hopes to make £200m in sales in the next 5 years.

"Jessops has a reputation which is well known. We know Jessops is the number one brand, and I love it," he said.

But will everyone else agree with Pete? After all, didn’t it close in the first place because people buy cameras online and use smartphones to take pictures and it’s not 1992 anymore?


  • Paul N.
    Hrm the math doesn't seem to add up. He is going to open 40 stores and they will gross £200m over the next five years? So each store is going to gross £1m/year. I find it hard to believe he is going to have enough money to keep the lights on never mind make a 'number one brand'. And how on earth do you open 40 stores and employ all the staff needed (I would imagine 5-10 FTE per store?) with an investment of £5m. Even at 5 FTE/store he wouldn't have enough to pay store rent and employee costs.
  • james
    Perhaps he purchased it because his nickname in the showers as school was "35mm"?
  • cinderfella
    40 stores is a feasible proposition. Higher end camera gear with stores in areas of high disposable income should at least make a small profit.
  • Mop r.
    he is sitting like a right bender in that photo
  • Dr Z.
    And for that reason, I'm out.
  • tom
    No doubt he will be getting money off the government etc so they give him £10m to try and save a British shop, he puts £5m of his money in spends around £8m, pack it in after the first year. He comes out with a nice profit of £2m. That's how it's done in the UK.
  • shiftynifty
    Toms right...now fuck off children
  • Mr M.
    @ Paul Nikkel I think it's suggesting he's going to be opening a few more stores to make 40 in total, but then I read it will be creating 500 jobs so you're probably right. Either way my betting is on the store failing but the knobbers bank balance bulging nicely.
  • aScottishBloke
    @Paul Nikkel You make assumptions far too easily. Where does it say that the total sales are limited to instore purchases only. Regards
  • Spencer
    Toms got it in one... It's why we keep seeing ailing companies go into admin... get bought out at the last minute... then fold a year or so down the line. It's openly corrupt - and happens over and over again...
  • Richard j.
    Thanks to the government's generous handout I only have to sink a couple of mil of my own money and in a years time I will have so much stock on credit I will put the business into administration sell of the stock and make a fortune after one of my other companies buys the business in a per pack deal. In the meantime the suppliers can go do one for the bills to be paid. That simple really.
  • Inspector G.
    Obviously Mr Jones doesn't read Bitterwallet -> http://www.bitterwallet.com/deathwatch-digital-cameras/57270
  • Big M.
    Him and Theo are bummers, with each other. Watch them on Top Gear together, Clarkson looked a dead cert for a lemon party at one point.
  • Marly M.
    Yeah and companies never pay their taxes!!! And Starbucks coffee is the worst in taste polls!!! And Macdonalds sells tasteless food and pays minimum wages!!! And Poundworld uses the dss job scheme and doesn't pay their staff!!! Easy to fix. Don't shop at Jessops if you don't like the lanky fuckers business plan. It's not as if you shopped there before, is it?
  • Paul N.
    @tom @Richard jones - I suspect you may be right. The math on his own investment doesn't make sense. The math on the revenue to costs doesn't make sense either though so the original source may simply have the numbers wrong. If so and he's going for it legitimately and putting his own money on the line good for him though.
  • Sarah
    "knobber", "cock". Jealous, much?
  • noshit
    @ Big Mozzer. Sign me up! Shops carry stock that will be outdated in months. Ppl love to prick tease those slightly odd looking shop assistants then go buy it online. My Grandad takes a fantastic picture on some old shit. If you haven't got an eye for a photo much less understand what your doing then buying then 300 quid cock master is just a waste of money. I guess a lot of the baby boomers have got the money and the time to waste. Give something back you self entitled parasites.
  • Marly M.
    'The original source' aka whoever Sweat lifted it from... and failed to credit... I say bring back that dick who told us how to trade games in at cex for profit... anyone remember that?
  • LancerVancer
    @ Marly Marl, Yes i remember that. 70 copies of some Disney movie sell them on to CEX and get 79p profit on each one!! In fact I'm sure it was Lady and the Tramp on Blu-ray.
  • Sicknote
    Sadly most of their stock is available for less elsewhere.
  • Mr a.
    I think Sarah is right. You lot just sound like a bunch of jealous children. Having said that it's maybe an insult to Children as most children can express themselves without feeling the need to resort to sub par language and bad grammar. Not sure most of you would even get through the interview stage at a Jessops store anyway. As you lot would probably put it..... Now go learn some fucking life skills knob ends!!!! :D

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