Depressing hipster café puts a price on time
A café is supposed to be little oasis of calm and contemplation, where you can refuel and relax. But not Café Ziferblat, a new business in London’s idiot capital Shoreditch. Instead of charging you for tea, coffee and biscuits, they charge for that most precious of commodities – time. 3p a minute, to be exact.
At Ziferblat (which means clock face in Russian, yeah?) an antique clock is given to you when you arrive, then you hand it back when you leave. In between that, you actually have to make your own coffee and do your own dishes. So basically, it’s a room full of chairs and tables and a kettle, which you rent out by the minute.
Apparently Café Ziferblat has been a big hit in Russia, where people aren't used to having nice things. Owner Ivan Mitin boasts nine branches there, which bring in 30,000 customers a month. He calls it a ‘free space’ (which is er, not free) where customers can be ‘micro tenants’.
But will it take off here? Because apparently I’ve heard that there’s this great place called ‘Your House’ where there’s a kettle and you don’t have to shell out 3p a minute to sit at a table with a bunch of East London trendy eejits being mercilessly tormented by f***** ticking f***** antique clocks.