Deathwatch: McDonald's in the middle of death rattle?

20 October 2015

mcdonalds A lot of people are talking about the imminent death of McDonald’s. Why? Well, American franchise owners are saying that they're looking at a "deep depression" and soon, Maccies could well see its "final days".

Now, for our money, we think McDonald's have made a boob by trying to be healthy, when really, they should go even more unhealthy. Real Man vs Food stuff, that's a greasy treat, rather than a company trying to hug you with lettuce. As The Simpsons told us - "you don't win friends with salad."

The initiatives undertaken by McDonald's haven't exactly set the world alight, and a survey carried out by Nomura analyst Mark Kalinowksi backs this.

Respondents said: "We are in the throes of a deep depression, and nothing is changing." Another added that; "The CEO is sowing the seeds of our demise - the system may be facing its final days."

Others added that they were losing business too quickly: "Customers are abandoning us in droves because we are either too slow, or subpar quality." "All-day breakfast is a nonstarter," another added. "We are trading customers down from regular menu to lower-priced breakfast items. Not generating new traffic."

Another spat: "The lack of consistent leadership from Oak Brook is frightening - we continue to jump from one failed initiative to another."

Seriously McDonald's. Don't try and be a cuddly, lovely neighbour - we actually prefer you when you're a ruthless multinational who makes us all fat, and grease sweats from our foreheads just thinking about you. Sort it out.


  • Otty
    McDonalds on deathwatch? You mean the McDonalds that's the world's biggest franchise? Seriously?
  • jim
    yeah cant see maccy d's going down. but if they did - good fuck em. serves them right for raping the rain forest

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