Cliff’s Mistletoe and Wine banned by Costa Coffee

11 December 2013

There’ll be no children singing Christian rhyme in Costa Coffee this year, as the popular chain has banned the song from being played in any of its stores this Christmas.


In a clear case of the pot calling the kettle, the move came after Cliff’s homage to booze and poisonous greenery was voted the most hated Christmas song in a Costa poll of 3000 customers.

Kevin Hydes from Costa said: ‘The festive happiness of our customers and staff is our upmost priority.'

It’s not been a great year for Cliff. His sleazy calendar is nowhere to be seen, and in another survey of hated Christmas songs recently, Mistletoe and Wine, Millennium Prayer, and Saviours Day took the top three.

However, the Costa survey had some glaring inaccuracies. The excellent ‘Christmas Wrapping’ by The Waitresses came in at number 3, and that’s the best Christmas song ever. And these tedious mainstream latte drinking philistines also had the temerity to slag off ‘Little Saint Nick’ by The Beach Boys.

Don’t listen to the haterz, Cliff. There’ll be logs on the fire, and gifts on the tree, and time to rejoice in the good that we see. In Starbucks.


  • Carl
    Cliff took up the top three, whilst The Waitresses were at number three? Fact check much?
  • mt
    "Starbucks." Tax avoiders.
  • Grammar N.
    @ Carl. The article says that Cliff took the top three in a different survey. Pay attention much?
  • Johnny C.
  • jt
    "The excellent ‘Christmas Wrapping’ by The Waitresses came in at number 3, and that’s the best Christmas song ever." Is this the first verifiably correct thing to be published by Bitter Wallet?
  • samuri
    costa fucking fortune coffee,not going there ever again
  • Jaff
    As someone who uses costa coffee maybe two or three times a year, I am disgusted by this move. I'm a metalhead, but i fucking love Cliff's array of Christmas tunes - because they make me feel ruddy christmassy!

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