Brits steal £1.6 billion from self-service tills

self-service-checkout Self-service tills are a plague on British society, coming over here and taking all our humans' jobs. Worse still is that they coldly bark 'unexpected item in the bagging area' at you when you haven't put anything unexpected in there at all. And then a red light flashes for some reason, meaning a human has to complete part of your transaction anyway, meaning the process is more laborious than the old, perfectly good system.

Still, it has some benefits as British folk have found it is much easier to steal from self service tills because they lack the eyes of their human colleagues. Almost one of every five shoppers have stolen things for this very reason, costing shops £1.6 billion.

A report says that the average Brit makes off with £15 worth of products every month, which is only right. Why? Well, seeing as you're expected to do the work of checking out yourself, you should be reimbursed for your troubles.

Over half of the thieves polled said they're stealing items because they got sick of products not scanning properly and the things most likely to be nabbed are sweets, fruit and veg, toiletries and stuff from the bakery.

Crispian Strachan, a former chief constable with Northumbria Police and a teacher at Cambridge University's Institute of Criminology, told The Mirror: "Shop theft has often been thought of as a victimless crime. What people have always done is rationalise it to themselves as something that 'nobody will notice anyway', but I don't see it like that at all."

Maybe shops will need to hire some more humans to act as security guards? That'll revitalise the economy, eh?


  • Gerkhin M. Campaign to get rid of that Feral Trolley starts here!
  • Gerkhin M.
    It's been there a year
  • amazon s.
    Put ED209 on the tills. Scan that cucumber madam, you have twelve seconds to comply. argrgrgrrhrgfhfhfhfhgf#@! carry on.
  • Gerkhin M.
    Campaign to get rid of that Feral Trolley starts here!
  • Merkin G.
    I think that the trolley should go! Go Go go go Go dancers
  • Richard
    'Over half of the thieves polled said they’re stealing items because they got sick of products not scanning properly' People will say what seems most socially acceptable in polls, even if the poll is anonamous! :-P Making it out to be some kind of retribution for the poor quality of the tills, like they're doing a public service, it bullshit. The reality is that peolpe steal stuff because they think they can get away with it.
  • vinny
    It'd probably cost more than £1.6 billion to employ minimum wage checkout people so the shareholders are onto a winner even with the theft.
  • barry f.
  • Chewbacca
    There's a surprise, a guy called Dick who can't spell anonymous. What a fucking moron.
  • hypocrite j.
    Barry I love you.
  • Tim W.
    I think the supermarkets do quite nicely out of us already. More importantly, Dick who spelt 'anonamous' is a twat.
  • Brits N.
    [...] Continue reading here [...]

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