Authors offer bonus extras to destroy Amazon

In order to stop readers buying their books from a massive, soulless automated warehouse and destroying their careers, authors are offering bonus chapters and extras to lure customers back to high street bookstores.

This creative approach is the latest weapon against the war on Amazon, which is devaluing authors and razing bookshops to the ground with its cheap as chips shitty 20p ebooks.

After signing an exclusive deal with Waterstones, Joanne Harris, bestselling author of Chocolat, has written an extra chapter in her new book Peaches for Monsieur le Curé which is only available from Waterstones stores. Alexander McCall Smith also produced a special booklet to go with his latest novel.

So who knows what other crazy backflipping Amazonballs promo stuff authors will do to feed their children and save bookshops?

Margaret Atwood doing a promotional lapdance at WH Smiths, while Life of Pi author Yann Martel fires lasers out of his eyes and summons a tiger out of the bargain bin? We can't wait.


  • Aunt B.
    I'm sure we'll all be "razing" a glass to your article.
  • Joey J.
    I'll be bumming a fox
  • Ian
    Stupid idea. Then the story won't make sense.
  • jt
    @Aunt Bessie - if you think you are mocking the spelling, you should probably get a dictionary.
  • Dr Z.
    What's that you say? Aunt Bessie is a bit of a fanny?
  • Dick
    So she is getting back at one large corporation by offering extras to those who shop with another large corporation. So in effect she is also trying to kill off small independent bookstores.
  • Her L.
    Amazon will end up buying Waterstones and then further rape authors. Is Ms Harris's new book available in a digital format so I can read it on my Kindle? If not then there's no chance I will be buying a copy, not even if it has photos of bare boobs. Maybe.

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