Amazon customer receives 'spiteful dildo'

5 January 2016

amazon-logo You may have read the headline, and wondered what a 'spiteful dildo' might be. Is it something that nearly makes you orgasm, but decides not to at the last minute? Is it a dong that slags off your orifices on social media?

Mercifully not. This is the story about a young man called Pedro, who was scouring Amazon for a specialist art textbook. No, 'specialist art' isn't a euphemism for anything dirty, either. Anyway, he found the book, ordered it, and on delivery, found he'd been given the wrong version. So far, so boring.

Pedro contacted Amazon's customer service team to get the right version, and Amazon told him days later, that they couldn't source it, and that he should return his book for a full refund. At this point, Pedro decided to leave a negative, disappointed review on the site, and assumed that'd be the end of it.

Then, something strange happened. According to our Pedro, he opened up Amazon again, and found that a giant dildo (for dildo enthusiasts, it was the 'The Hulk 10.25-inch Huge Dong') had been placed in his shopping basket.

He told Arstechnica: "If my best friend did it to me while I wasn't watching, of course I would find it funny. I'm not a prude. The problem is, I was at the office, in an open space, with people behind me. A guy and two girls were sitting by me when I opened up Amazon and they saw the contents of my shopping basket."

Who could do such a thing? Pedro thinks it was a customer service rep from Amazon, who was annoyed by his negative review. He took a screenshot, and then emailed Amazon to ask them what on Earth was going on. Eventually, he spoke to Andreas Mühlbauer of the "Executive Customer Relations" team at Amazon.

Mühlbauer apparently told Pedro that they were sorry, and that he'd "been in touch with the HR department" to make sure this didn't happen again, and Pedro got himself a €100 voucher by way of apology.

We can't confirm whether the voucher was spent on a massive dong or not. We're guessing not.

3 comments

  • Ian
    Yeah righto. Just like that guy who slipped whilst climbing up his drainpipe, after his belt had broken and his trousers given way, and fell arse-first onto a sauce bottle, which was then stuck in his butt. A terrible, tragic accident.
  • bill
    I strongly doubt it was an Amazon employee, and any negative 'review' left for the product would be removed or screened, as it relates to seller performance rather than the actual product. The dildo thing was more than likely done by a childish hacker. There are plenty of forums on the internet dedicated to sourcing stolen amazon accounts and SEing, and placing orders for dildos is a 'thing' that they do with amazon accounts sometimes. He's lucky it didn't get beyond the basket stage. He should probably change his password and check his bank statement.
  • Dylan D.
    More crap reporting. Pedro told Amazon to shove the dildo where the sun don't shine, and as a result, the dildo was full of shite, not spite. Get it right, ffs.

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