Want to buy some cheap Lloyds shares that already belong to you?
He's planning to announce his bargain bucket shares in a speech in 10 days time, then he’s going to flog them out of the back of a yellow Robin Reliant below the market price. There’ll be incentives built in so that people will hold onto them for several years. (He can also do you 10 lighters for a pound).
Self-serving little get Osborne says this is the ‘right time’ to sell off Lloyds, namely because shares have skyrocketed in the last year from 28.5p to 62.3p. They’re still nowhere near the price they were in 2008, leaving long standing shareholders out of pocket. But crucially, the current share price means the Government has broken even on the price they paid for shares to bail out Lloyds at the height of the banking crisis. So he's selling them back to us– and he might even throw in a set of cutlery and some plastic crystal wine glasses from Esso.
For his next dodgy, underhand trick, George will come into your house with a bag marked ‘SWAG’ and steal all your possessions, then he’ll sell back your TV, sofa and precious family heirlooms for a slightly lower price than you paid for them. Whatta guy.