New booze rules won't change a thing - we'll drink to that!
As a wise, wise man once said: To alcohol - the cause of, and solution to all of life's problems! Unfortunately the government didn't hear the bit about how brilliant booze is, and decided to price it out of existence, in a bid to stop supermarkets selling cheap plonk and in turn eroding the moral fibre of society.
Or did they? No, as it happens. They did no such thing.
As was said at the time, the suggested minimum prices per unit of alcohol - 21p per unit of beer and 28p per unit of spirits - were already much lower than most outlets sell it at. Now the Guardian has confirmed the pricing is completely useless.
The newspaper compared the prices of nearly 3,700 booze deals found in the big supermarkets in the lead-up to Christmas. Of them all, only a single deal would have increased in price under the new plan - an £11 one-litre bottle of Grant's whisky would have increased by 42p. Society is saved!
At the time of introducing the bill, the Home Office minister James Brokenshire said the new minimum limits "will stop the worst instances of deep discounting, which result in alcohol being sold both cheaply and harmfully," shortly before announcing limits that may have been of some relevance in the 1980s. Even if the minimum limit was increased to 50p per unit of alcohol, more than 90% of the supermarket's Christmas deals would have been unaffected.