Behold... Steve Blag's Supermarket Drop!

2 February 2011

trolleyEarlier today, in the comments section of our Someone Else Will Put It Back piece, avid Bitterwallet reader Steve Blag shared with us the rules of a supermarket game he enjoys playing. As it’s normally only mentalists who leave/read comments on websites, we felt that Steve’s game deserved a platform of its own.

He calls it ‘Steve Blag’s Supermarket Drop’ and of it, he says…

It goes like this. Whenever someone fucks me over in a supermarket (based on anything from looks, attire, hitting me with trolley, the light hitting them wrong, overwhelming whiff of patchouli oil), I find an object to put in their trolley. My wife and I have a cobbled together points system, but it’s fucking great.

Some examples – a side of ham for a hippy-looking type; condoms or Durex ‘play’ for a couple; something very organic for the pikey family who’ve only bought frozen blue-stripe crap… you get the idea.

Extra points are obtained if:

1) They actually buy it

2) You manage to put a heavy object in a basket, not a trolley

3) You manage (as my friend did once) to slam-dunk a coconut into someone’s handbag (he missed the trolley)

4) You get busted and manage to blag your way out of it

5) You start a row between a couple

6) You start a row when a parent accuses their child of putting things into the trolley.

7) You manage to add obscene quantities of something they already have.

Basically, you can make up the rules as you go along as long as you get very little shopping done yourself and generally cause problems for anyone who pisses you off.

You heard it here first. Try it. You’ll love it.

OBVIOUSLY, we cannot condone any aspect of this extremely anti-social game. We just thought you might like to read about it.

Let us know how you get on eh? Extra points for video footage.

TOPICS:   Games

22 comments

  • I t.
    I like to do a similar game, but I target the online shopping trolleys being picked by staff. Not as much fun, but if someone gets a freebie from tesco then that's great.
  • Nob
    Another fun game is piss-off-the-cashier-and-everyone-else-in-the-queue. Fill up a trolley with luxury items (eg Tesco finest), and go to the checkout as normal. When your bill comes to £150, get a fiver out of your pocket and look at it. Say "Can I take this off" and hand her back an item. Ask the new price, look at the fiver again, and return something else. Keep doing it. Keep returning items until you get to a fiver, then say you need to pay your bus fare, and end up buying just a mars bar, or a pack of chewing gum.
  • Barry
    sounds very much like "Shopping for others" from the 1998 John Waters film Pecker
  • plop
    Found myself in Asda the other day and witnessed a bewildered studenty-looking chap ask a hunch-backed shelf stacker why the steak he was holding lacked cooking instructions. The Asda troglodyte stared at him with a mixture of pity and withering contempt, before telling the lanky dimwit to put it in a hot pan with some oil until it was cooked. Sorry, that's nothing to do with this fun game, I just thought it was amusing.
  • Jerry
    I, the coconut slamdunker, have taken this game to an international level. Looking forward to more supermarket fun and frolic in my upcoming trip to hang with Mr. & Mrs. Blag. Be warned London, game on!!!
  • maxtweenie
    You'd think the knobhead would have better things to do with his time. Like get a fucking job.
  • Mr_Cheery
    As if shopping in a supermarket wasn't a miserable enough experience anyway u also have to put up with cunts, yes that's right cunts, like this.
  • steve b.
    @ Max. I have an excellent job, thank you. You'd be amazed. Oh, and you'll never find out. I just choose to amuse myself by tormenting proles. Yes. Happy to be an employed cunt.
  • steve b.
    ..and a cunt who knows how to use punctuation. I shall add this to my list of supermarket nemeses.
  • avenue n.
    What all ways get to me in supermarkets, is people's change iof mind when choosing goods, usually its just the 1 pack of bacon, left in the fridge where they have found a better offer, such buy 1 pack of bacon get one free, or something similar, you normally see this at the isle ends, where the special offers are on. But you ocasionally get the complete sweeping change of mind like the time I found a DRILL, yes a drill in the fridge section where they have Ice cream, " Yeah well the drill seemed to be a good idea at the time, but cobblers to that Ben & Jerrys Cookies and Cream seem like a much better idea". Or in a similar vein a frozen Turkey was left in the Kids toys section, complete with gathering pool of water, because parent could not be arsed trailing back to the frozen section...
  • maxtweenie
    I have to say that as far as I'm concerned you're just like a bad driver. You don't see what you're doing is wrong, and you don't care about the carnage you leave behind you. Your 'game' is really just an excuse for the fact that you're a pig ignorant arsehole and I'm glad I'll never cross paths with you. Now go back to your pretend job and keep practising your punctuation. Knob.
  • Richard M.
    What a prick you are "Steve Blag". As if a visit to a supermarket isn't already a tedious and soul-sapping enough affair without little ex-student shits thinking it funny to harass shoppers in the process. I suppose when you do all this mischief and go home and laugh about it you think that you imagine that you are like the new Dom Joly or something. However, you are just a sad prick messing about with people in Tescos. If I ever have the misfortune to bump into you or any of your pathetic ilk then I am going to punch you in the face and, in the spirit of your shit game, award myself 100 points and therefore the winner. Cock.
  • Tesco T.
    Fucking brilliant idea, this will brighten up my next Tesco visit, I must get the kids involved too :) Love the idea of sticking things into the internet shopping trolleys, what a nice free surprise for some lazy git who couldn't be bothered to get off their arse and go shopping themselves :) Every Little Helps
  • Word M.
    I think some people have missed the point of this, it's to get back at the fucking idiots who roam these places thinking they have right over everyone else (especially the fucking muppets wearing those stupid bug eyed sunglasses, you are inside for fuck sakes take them off!!) I hate food shopping, the people in these places are rude and selfish. I have had people basically climb over me to get to items, whereas if they said "excuse me" I would have moved for them, trolleys run into the back of me with no apology, people coming over and standing in front of me when I was trying to look at a product. I gave up months ago and we now have our shopping delivered.
  • Matt J.
    I'm not sure what's funnier, the game or the people who are getting rather upset by it, whom I'm now assuming to be checkout workers who'd have to deal with irate customers realising they didn't actually want to purchase the vibrating cock ring and lube that has ended up in their trolley.
  • I o.
    Take a trip down the Beers, Wines and Spirits aisles and if you're lucky you'll find a bag of security tags waiting to go onto bottles of Scotch. These are easily clipped onto trolleys and can keep the security guards occupied for literally minutes.
  • I o.
    Word To Your Mother - I think you may have been a victim of my "trolley shove" style of shopping. Even when shopping for a single item, I'll take a trolley round to use as an intimidation tool. People are much more aware of a trolley hurtling down the aisle than a lone shopper with a basket and if they don't move, they get side-swiped. That as they say in the biz is a win-win situation. Also if you're bored, open the upright freezer doors and pull the hinge so it locks the door open. After a few minutes the alarms will go off and be spectacularly musical.
  • steve b.
    I've just done a scan of the comments and it has left me wondering, quite honestly, why some of you take a long enough break between your Daily Mail and your written record of your neighbours' comings and goings to read Bitterwallet in the first place. To the rest of my 'ilk' (those of you who weren't left apopleptic with rage), thank you. I like what you have to say. Matt Jones hit the nail on the head for me. Oh, Max, you missed a comma between "now" and "go".
  • Mr_Cheery
    Steve Blag (aka Steve Fag) is gay for Matt Jones - yes it really is at this level now. I've just done a scan of your witty fuck-tarded antics and it has left me wondering, quite honestly, he has a wife?!? oh and friends as well!? The only punctuation Max missed after "now" and "go" was "back to your goat-fucking!" OH YEAH, BRINGING OUT THE GOAT-FUCKER INSULTS! Boo and Yah!
  • Jeno
    @mr_cheery Acting like a child doesn't put people in their place, you'd do well to remember that. @Steve blag, i'll be sure to try this out when I'm next at my local!
  • Mr_Cheery
    @Jeno - yes sir, your absolutely right, perhaps u and Mr Blag would do well to heed your advice next time u go to a supermarket... You see, just because someone "pissed you off" doesn't mean you have to be equally as stupid by getting your "revenge" in a lame, and yes childish way.
  • Gavin R.
    I think I might have laughed a little too loud at this. Christ man, stop being a bunch of miserable twats. We have to laugh. This is an amazing way to have a laugh and to be honest, one I will try with my girlfriend. She'd love it too! Although, I think there should be a slight amendment. What about trying to slip items on to a conveyor belt? Items put in the basket/trolley are more likely to be noticed before being noticed by any checkout staff. So they won't have as much shock factor.

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