Laptop gadget saves the world by saving John Thomas
Now in their thirties and wondering why they're unable to reproduce, a generation of men have forgotten all the hysterical headlines of the 90s when newspapers warned of laptops boiling their sperm in their sacks. Years later, those sacks are withered and barren, the man jam bereft of any long-tailed sailors looking to make port.
The world will lose a whole swathe of the population, but there's still hope for that are yet to begin idling away their evenings on the sofa, scouring The Hun for pornography and slowly cooking their groin while their girlfriend watches Law & Order repeats on Hallmark. Introducing the Portable LapDeskoTron thing:
It's bastardly obvious, but it helps protect your legs and crotchal region from heat given off by your laptop, and also provides a mousepad so you don't suffer the inevitable hand cramp from using a trackpad for hours on end. Simple enough, but these guys maybe have just saved civilisation.