"Just Pop Them On The Trackpad And Cough For Me Would You?"

Attention ill folks! Now you can be a long-term poorly old sausage without having to get out of bed and visit your doctor. That’s thanks to Intel’s new home medical laptop gizmo, which will store your medical history and check you out now and again, even setting up a conference call with a doctor if you need one.

Not sure how you’ll go about having a bed bath or get greased up by a sexy nurse like that scene in The Singing Detective (which infuriatingly isn't on YouTube). We suppose you’ll have to do it yourself. Just make sure you’ve switched off the two-way link to your GP’s videophone before you do.

PRO:  You don’t have to go anywhere and can suffer moodily from the comfort of your own stinking pit.

CON:  You can’t tell if your GP reeks of whisky – usually a good indicator as to whether you should follow his advice or not.

What do you think?

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