Gold-plated Lampard iPods to become Hello Kitty iPods instead

Screen shot 2010-07-30 at 11.21.47 It seemed that Frank Lampard had it all – if you count ‘it all’ as a handul of Premier League winner’s medals, shit-loads of money and Christine Bleakley hanging off him. The man just oozed success. But now it’s all starting to go a bit pear-shaped.

Firstly, there was his role in THAT footballing catastrophe in South America Southampton South Pacific South Africa this summer. Now comes the news that his exclusive range of 5,000 gold-plated iPods have flopped massively – they’re going to be stripped of their lovely gold and turned into Hello Kitty iPods instead.

The 24-carat iPod Touch with Lampard’s signature etched into the back was launched by Goldgenie (from off of Dragons’ Den once) and retailed for up to £599. But, either because times are hard or because no one in their right mind would want one, they have been a dismal flop.

The Sun tells of how the iPods will be “melted down”, but later in the story, a ‘source’ ‘says’: “It's not exactly melting down - it's a chemical process. But basically Goldgenie are recovering all the gold so they can use it again. They thought loads of people would want them during the World Cup but the backlash against England was so bad that they've had to scrap the whole thing.”

The only losers here are poorly children, as the iPods were on sale to raise funds for the Teenage Cancer Trust. No doubt Frank Lampard will dust himself down, pick himself back up and continue to baffle and delight football fans everywhere in equal measures for a few more years.

Hello Kitty was not available for comment.


  • PokeHerPete
    What?! I thought I have one of his exclusive iPods but then again on closer inspection someone just wrote "TWAT" on mine in permanent marker.
  • Jimmy8bit
    "Firstly, there was his role in THAT footballing catastrophe in South America this summer. " South America? FAIL.
  • StuPid
    That explains why England were so cr*p over the summer - they went to the wrong continent. I hear absolutely no overpaid over-pampered England players were in South Africa either.
  • H E.
    Sout America?!? ROFL:ROFL:LOL:ROFL:ROFL | L /----------- LOL=== []\ L \ \ \___________\ | | -------------/
  • Nobby
    It would have been funnier if they made them into Jade Goody ones. Yes, they seriously have a Jade Goody range too.
  • H E.
    Damn it, my lolcopter has crashed :(
  • Alex
    ROFLCOPTER fail! -------------------------------- Sout America?!? ROFL:ROFL:LOL:ROFL:ROFL | L /———– LOL=== []\ L \ \ \___________\ | | ————-/
  • Ben
    perhaps if he had spent less time in South America, he could have devoted more time to not cocking up the South African World Cup, which is he was also involved in. Shame to hear that his other project at the same time was a disaster. Perhaps if Frank were to focus on one sporting endeavour at a time, he might have more success? PS: BELM
  • Nader
    My first article made it onto bitter wallet!!
  • IfYouCopyMyNameYouAreGayIsGay
    Hold on a minute, I need to go get my lollerskates on!
  • IfYouCopyMyNameYouAreGayIsGay
    @Nader, Brilliant - now alls you need to do is get your name read out on the radio, And nobody will STILL give a fuck who you are.
  • IfYouCopyMyNameYouAreGayIsGayIsGay
    beam me up to the ROFLcopter
  • Jase
    South America...either a typo, or a clever reference to that news article that used a picture of the wrong continent: I say typo, and a lazy one at that.
  • Nader
    @ IfYouCopyMyNameYouAreGayIsGay Fuck off you mug
  • DMcG1873
    Overhyped and overpriced...bit like England's golden generation of footballers.
  • Ian
  • Nobby
    Who the fuck is this nader guy? I really care about who the fuck you are.
  • i.
    [...] [Bitterwallet] [...]
  • Must B.
    [...] How we laughed the other day at the story of the Frank Lampard-branded gold iPods that were being sort of melted down due to lack of sales. How amusing it was to learn that they were going to become Hello Kitty iPods instead. [...]
  • Sweet B.
    [...] us the impossibly perfect news that following England’s 2010 World Cup failure, a range of gold-plated iPods, each individually numbered and lasered with Frank Lampard’s autographical scribble, were [...]
  • Gold-plated i.
    [...] And so Goldgenie had decided to reduce it total losses by a bit. They plan to strip the iPod Touch off all the gold and sell them as Hello Kitty iPod Touch instead. Too bad as the sale proceeds were meant for the Teenage Cancer Trust. [Bitterwallet] [...]

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