Commercial Break: It's called 7 so why not get a 7 year-old to plug it?
Say hello to Kylie – she’s a modern child and she’s got her hands on Windows 7, the new operating system from Microsoft. Kylie’s dad must be a Microsoft employee because he’s left a page open on his browser showing a list of dazzling reviews of the new OS.
And because she’s a sharp cookie, Kylie’s going to make a slideshow and soundtrack it with Europe’s cheese-metal smash The Final Countdown. Hope she got copyright clearance!
But, guh, it’s all kittens, unicorns, rabbits and rainbows. And those fonts – hell’s bells! It looks like something that would have be made using Windows 3.1 and hosted on GeoCities! Kylie you idiot!
Look sweetheart, we believe you when you tell us that 7 is ‘snappy and reponkinsly’ but Microsoft probably ought to be spending money on real adverts instead of just getting a seven year-old to bang out a slideshow in between stuffing peanut butter and jelly into her gob and watching Phineas & Ferb (while completely failing to get all of the best jokes.)
It almost looks as though they don’t want to be taken seriously. That can’t be right can it? Whatever - Windows 7 is going for a tantalising £44.97 at the moment. That's why they can't afford to make a real ad.