A royal treat - yes, it's William and Kate: The Movie
Perhaps you're a little sore that you haven't been invited to the wedding, or that your neighbours stubbonly refuse to celebrate this holiest of matrimonies by throwing a table cloth over a pasting table and stumping up for an Iceland prawn ring.
However you've been let down in your attempts to cheer on the Royal couple, worry no more. Due to be released on DVD during the week of their marriage, Bitterwallet presents the gift of William and Kate: The Movie. Order it now. Or don't, probably: