A classy, glassy future awaits us all

24 February 2011

Oooooo, the future! It's clean! It's happy! And everything is made of glass! Yes, the halcyon world of tomorrow is a see-through, scratch-resistant, 3D, intervisual jizzfest of moving images, personal privacy issues and relentless marketing messages.

Manufacturers Corning would quite like this to be the future, because they'll make uberbucks. It probably will be the future, too, because everything is so gosh darn perfect, and that's certainly the direction the world seems to be heading right now:

All very slick and glossy, but sadly it fails to address some of the practicalities of the real world:

• Why does he have to get out of bed to change the channel? That's not the future, that's 1977.

• How can Grandma see the kids during the video conference call?

• Exactly how long will an all-glass bus shelter last?

• What kind of twat has a video conference call via his mobile for half an hour? From a bus stop? How many buses did his miss in the meantime?

• When does everyone find the time to polish every last goddamn surface in the house, office and shopping centre?

• What's the average electricity bill per home?

• How practical is it to make every street sign a display? What happens in a power cut?

• Did Jennifer attend her rescheduled meeting or just piss off to the shops?

• What happens in an earthquake, where every surface of every building, bicycle shed and bungalow is made of glass?

TOPICS:   Gadgets


  • Whisky
    What kind of a fucktard requires Sat-Nav to drive to work?
  • egg
    And what a truely crap way to make an omelette!
  • Gunn
    What a nightmare
  • JaffaCake
    Jennifer got up and left the house in 20 minutes... riiiiiiight.
  • rockinron
    What happens if you're chopping onions and David Cameron's picture pops up? Or if you have a cleaver, a turnip and William Hague appears saying Gaddafi's off to Venezeula ('cos he read it on twitter)? Could be carnage! Also, I think it's safe to say that if you are waiting for a bus, you are unlikely to be taking part in a video conference. That's as likely as that guy being delighted that him mother called while he(!) is preparing a meal!
  • Mark C.
    I'm wondering how the human race actually benefits from the office being able to pester you with emails while you're taking a dump in the morning? Plus how come everyone in these adverts is always a successful fashion designer married to a successful architect, not designing wheelie bins, planning blaggings or building narco-subs?
  • fra
    what about the poor gits with no hands.....how do they live in this society?
  • Pedant
    Gave up at about the 3:00 point due to bile rising in my throat.
  • Zoolook
    Yeah great, I can pick my pointless messages up using the bathroom mirror... but now I gotta get a streak free shine back on it before I can fix my make up and hair... THATS WHY I'M GONNA BE LATE!

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