The Key Word In This Story Is 'Divorced'
‘I Wish It Could Be Christmas Every Day’ sang bearded pop legend Roy Wood. Since then, thousands of lazy stand-up comedians have used the notion as a jump-off point for some piss-poor observation humour about what it would be like to fill your face with mince pies 365 days a year.
They should have just gone to Andy Park’s house. The divorced 44-year old literally celebrates Christmas EVERY F***ING DAY OF THE YEAR, with decorations, a roast dinner, champagne and presents. Seemingly presents that are all from and to himself because, well, he’s pretty much on his own with the whole loopy concept.
Now, thanks to the credit crunch, Andy (known locally as 'Mr. Christmas' or maybe 'That Christmas Dickhead') is having to make cuts to the Yuletide routine that he’s carried out every day since July 14th 1994. That may or may not have been the day his marriage ended, it’s really not for us to speculate.
Look at him – he’s the sort of bloke who’d gladly describe himself as ‘zany’ without realising that it’s just another word for ‘twat.’
Look at him – he’s crying on the inside. The poor, poor man.