Irn Bru and Tango to take over the world
Forget 'The Real Thing', and that Diet Coke guy with a kitten down his trousers. AG Barr, creators of Scotland’s favourite girder-based drink Irn Bru, and Britvic, who own Tango - are uniting to create a fizzy pop supergroup which could rival Coca Cola.
The £1.4 billion merger would mean their annual sales would stand at an effervescent £1.5 billion, making them Europe’s largest soft drinks behemoth.
The details still need to be thrashed out over a nice glass of limeade with a straw, but the bid has been approved by The Competition Commission, and if it all goes ahead, we could be seeing some of our favourite great British soft drinks elevated to the status of global brands.
Just think of the advertising opportunities. Beyonce chugging down a litre of Irn Bru and a Gregg’s steak bake before she goes on stage. Paparazzi photos of the Kardashians taking their refundable R.Whites lemonade empties back to the shop. That wee bald orange Tango man running through the street bursting people’s eardrums...
Personally I think they shouldn’t stop until the Superbowl is sponsored by Tizer.