Desperate car dealer - "Your new car is only good for two years"
You've got to feel sorry for car salesmen. No, hang on a minute, you don't have to do any such bloody thing, because they're a bunch of smarmy, grease-oozing individuals who, for the love of all that is holy and sacred, will not let you look at a car for a more than a nano-second without sidling up to you and attempting to push the thing up your arse.
I'm not a fan, as you may have detected, and less so after my mother received a letter from the local dealership she bought her motor from:
Dear Mrs Smith,
It's nearly two years since you purchased your car and I trust that during this time it has given you good service and happy motoring.
Still, two years is a long time, therefore we would like to invite you to visit our dealership to look over our extensive stock of new and used cars.
Seriously? Promote your MOT facilities, regular servicing, sat nav fitting - any service that might cost a reasonable amount given the economy, still provide a healthy profit margin and increase footfall through your salesroom. No, it won't help you shift the hundreds of low-powered jalopies to hit your quarterly targets, but then that really isn't anyone's problem but yours, now is it? Suggesting that a car is good for two years before it's time to consider replacing it is mad as bat shit, frankly.