Doggone stupidity by bank aiming to bribe customers
Bank manager: "So we're diving headlong into a recession."
Bank employee: "Yessir. No mistake about it."
Bank manager: "Reckon we can do something about it, though. We can stimulate the economy at a local level, support consumer spending and nurture a positive environment for growth."
Bank employee: "Sure sounds possible, sir."
Bank manager: "So. Ideas. We need to stimulate, support, nurture and stuff like that, y'know?"
Bank employee: "Maybe give folk free stuff?"
Bank manager: "Yeah. Yeah, I like that. What like?"
Bank employee: "Carriage clocks?"
Bank manager: "Too old."
Bank employee: "Toasters?"
Bank manager: "Too expensive."
Bank employee: "Dog biscuits?"
Bank manager: "What? Sorry, I thought you said dog biscuits. Dog biscuits? What new type of stupid are you, then? Who would willingly subject themselves to years of misery, debt and inexcusable bureaucratic abuse on the basis of a dog biscuit? Seriously? I mean, are you suggesting we bribe customers with dog biscuits? You did say that, right? I mean, you didn't cough funny and it just sounded like actual words? Dog biscuits? Is this the standard of staff we're emplo-"
Bank manager: "Yeah so I was saying, sweet idea, makes perfect sense. Glad I thought of it."