HotUKDeals Of The Day - Wednesday 12th August
Whenever we think of the typical Bitterwallet reader, we imagine a fat slob, squirting huge splodges of tomato ketchup all over his frozen pizza until he’s unable to fit into the Catwoman suit that he secretly wears when there’s no one around.
What’s that? That’s you? No way? Amazing. You’re going to love today’s best bargains then, direct from HotUKDeals.
Kicking off with Heinz tomato ketchup. Some of us have been downing this stuff for so long that we have recurring dreams of our mothers smearing their teats in it before breast-feeding us. Er, don’t we?
Right now, you can get 460g of the stuff, housed in a top-down squeezy style bottle for just £1. Enough there to get a week’s worth of feeding from the Pussycat Dolls, Girls Aloud and Katie Price. Woah, sexism!
If you’ve got a pound coin left over, you could do worse than invest it in one of these, a Chicago Town Edge-To-Edge pizza, available in loads of different flavours and also retailing right now for just £1.
Of course, when we say invest, you have to understand that the only ‘return’ you’ll get on your investment is some bloatiness, a slight increase in arse gas-expulsion and a few smears of melted cheese and tomato sauce across your face. It’s hardly the fucking FTSE is it?
Finally, that Catwoman suit. You thought we’d forgotten about it, didn’t you. Well we haven’t… and sadly, it probably means the sexism hasn’t finished yet either. It’s a half-price costume that is up for grabs at just £19.99.
Take the image of the catsuit, add the references to Pussycat Dolls, Girls Aloud and Katie Price and spray with tomato ketchup and, well… we’ll leave the rest to you, you mucky sods.
(deals found by HUKD members Gormahia, hermanjelmet and Kevo2k7)