HotUKDeals Of The Day - Wednesday 10th December
JK Rowling’s latest effort is flying off the shelves. Literally, because it’s about a witch or something. I’m not in the slightest bit arsed actually, can you tell? My own kids are nowhere near the age when they can be introduced to the Harry Potter stories, and as for grown-ups who read the books, well… don’t get me started.
So, with the help of the bargain sniffers at HotUKDeals, I’m marking the publication of The Battle Of Beetlebum The Bard with some other products aimed at exclusively kids that you can inexplicably hijack and incorporate into your sorry lives.
Start off by working on that underdeveloped brain of yours with a Roary The Racing Car giant floor puzzle. It’s only got 25 pieces so it should only take you half a day or so – as long as you don’t waste your time dreaming about hobbits and the tooth fairy.
The puzzle is only £3.90 if you follow the link, but there’s no indication as to whether it’s waterproof. Hopefully it is so that you can just wipe away the drool that will pour out of the side of your gob while you concentrate on getting the pieces in the right place.
(deal found by millarcat)
Next, show that you’re down with the rest of the eight-year olds by somehow squeezing your feet into a pair of Heelys – the idiot shoes with built-in wheels that are so annoying and dangerous that they’re banned from most public places.
I suppose It’s good for the kids to feel some empathy with the smoking community. Hmm, there’s an image to mull over. An adult, standing outside a pub, smouldering fag in one hand, open copy of the Deathly Hallows in the other, while gently rolling backwards and forwards on a pair of frigging Heelys. Yours for just £19.99
(deal found by Lou999)
Jesus, I’m in a rotten mood today aren't I? What else is there for the modern adult baby to add to their futile lives? Ah yes, a Goodbaby Mini Scooter – available in pink and ideal for anyone aged 3 and above.
You’ve already squeezed your feet into your stupid Heelys – now you can contort your frame around a tiny pink scooter and whizz down to the corner shop to buy some Smarties to eat while you’re reading your Harry Potter book.
(deal found by andywedge)
I ate some Smarties on a train last year. Honestly, I felt like I was a bloody paedophile or something. So, that’s all from Deals Of The Day for now. It’s been emotional. Gah.