HotUKDeals Of The Day - Thursday 6th August
Whenever we think of the typical Bitterwallet reader, we like to imagine them as being someone who loves water. You love splashing about in it, you love swilling gallons of it down your neck because the sauce you’ve eaten is hotter than the sun and you love pulling innocent fish out of it and then smacking their heads off the ground.
What? That’s you? You’re kidding! Well, this is your lucky minute. Here’s three bang-up-to-date bargains that we’ve plucked from HotUKDeals, specifically with YOU in mind. You lucky shit.
First, here’s a 12 foot swimming pool for you and yours to thrash around in throughout what’s left of the summer months. Perfect for the garden, it comes complete with external filter pump and the retailer is pumping them out for only £39.99.
Sounds great, but be warned; it could turn out to be the biggest disaster of your life. Think of it as a kind of onshore boat. They always say that the happiest day of your life is the day you buy a boat. The second happiest day is the day you get rid of it.
Next comes a bottle of Dave’s Gourmet Insanity Sauce, now only £3.06. We know Dave personally and he’s as insane as they come. Why it was only last week when he came into the office with some latex eggs and silicone eggs filled with the sauce and tried to persuade us to put them over our pee-pee sticks.
But before you buy, read this: “The original hottest sauce in the universe! A great cooking ingredient for sauces, soups and stews. Also, strips waxed floors and removes driveway grease stains. Enjoy! WARNING: use this product one drop at a time. Keep away from eyes, pets and children. Not for people with heart/respiratory problems.” Get in there.
Finally for now, here’s some bargains for those of you who enjoy perching on a riverbank for ten hours at a time with a stick in your hand, gamely trying not to fall into the briny. We’re talking, of course, about fishermen!
Loads of offers available this Sunday only, including a fishing bag (£8.99), beach rod & reel (£17.99), match rod & reel (£17.99) 8m competition fishing pole (£17.99), headlamp + scales (£3.99), rod bag (£11.99), fishing bivvy tent (£19.99) and 1,500 badges that read ‘I Just Caught Me Some Fish!’ (£499.99)
(deals found by HUKD members andywedge, Gormahia and Dantooine)