HotUKDeals Of The Day - Friday 6th February
Hey cool guy, it’s Friday, so why are you still sitting there reading this for? You should be prepping yourself for a night on the prowl, carousing, bawling and roaring before waking up in the bed of a stranger. Preferably with both of you still alive.
Let us be your guide, in conjunction with HotUKDeals…
First, take a long shower. Let the power of the water ease those workaday aches and pains. You’ll feel fantastic afterwards; ready to slip on your finest threads and your best strutting pumps before skidding on to the dancefloor of the nearest love boutique.
Take the time to take in a cheeky beer. Relax hotshot, it’s the weekend after all. Have one of those Kronenbourgs – remember they were just £6.99 for an 18 pack. Mmmn, smooth and fresh – going down easier than Lily Allen on [CENSORED]
Right, you’re dressed and you’re getting a bit of a buzz on from the beer. Your confidence is surging. What’s next? How about a bit of scent, dabbed either side of your neck? Not too much though – just enough to say “I know who I am – I am a man. I do not like green eggs and ham. I do not like them Sam I Am.”
Reach for that bottle of Aramis Reserve aftershave – it’s guaranteed to turn the chicks’ heads, plus it only set you back £15.60. Knowledge is power and with your sexy neck pulsing that stuff out into the sexmosphere, you’re a equal mix of Tom Jones and Russell Crowe in A Beautiful Mind. While he could still do the maths and before he went mad.
Oh shitting Christ, you’ve spilled the Aramis. You drunken buffoon! What the hell did you have that fourth bottle of beer for? Four beers in half an hour – on an empty stomach? You fool.
Ah well, best give it up. There’s only one thing for it – spend the rest of the night in polishing off the rest of the booze, scoffing £1 Easter eggs and playing darts against yourself in the garage with your Phil Taylor Home Darts Centre. Just try not to drink the Aramis and keep the noise down – you don’t want to wake your parents. Clown.
(deals found by welshmale22, karri123, MojoMojo and mbgringo)