HotUKDeals Of The Day - Friday 12th December
As we’re fairly sure you’re aware, Christmas is creeping up on us like a sickly, saccharine-flavoured crab wrapped in tinsel and waving a flag with a picture of a snowman roaring the word ‘SURRENDER!’ painted on it.
Truly, the festive season is as intoxicating as that first deep hit of crack in the morning but it’s not all Eggnog and deep joy – if you’ve got kids, there’s stuff to assemble and you’d better start… NOW, at least if you want it all ready on time. Thanks to HotUKDeals, here’s the ghost of Christmas future with the ingredients you’re gonna need…
First up, you need to understand that although the tasks that lie ahead of you might appear to be simple, you’re racing against the clock (cos let’s face it, you’re doing this stuff at 10pm on Christmas Eve aren’t you, you daft bugger?) And Sod’s Law dictates that anything that can go wrong will go wrong, so it’s going to be an all-nighter, and not the good kind either.
So you’re going to need lots of coffee to see you through to the long dark night of missing parts and cuss words. Better bring in a Philips Black Senseo Coffee Pod Machine with free pod and glasses – yours for just £23.18. Then relax – keep pumping coffee into your gob and you can get some kip in the early hours of Boxing Day morning.
(deal found by whizzkid)
Now, down to work. Once you’ve removed the train set from its box and untwizzled all those plastic twizzly bits that held it in place on its journey from China to wherever the hell you are, you’ll need to put it together. So you’ll need (at the very least) a screwdriver.
Right - where is it then? No idea have you? If only you'd got your act together 12 days ago – you could have now been the proud owner of a Draper 13 Piece Value Toolkit, including a 150mm adjustable wrench; 150mm diagonal side cutters; ratchet screwdriver with 1/4" hexagon holder; 10 assorted popular bits. How much? 88 effing pence, that’s how much.
(deal found by shambo)
It’s now 2.47am and the kids will be waking up in about half an hour. Batteries. Did you buy any batteries? No? What the hell is the matter with you? DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW CHRISTMAS OPERATES, YOU SIMPLETON?!?!
You should have been a sharper shopper back on the 12th December – you could have nabbed a Sony battery charger with batteries for the laughably cheap price of £3.99. But you didn’t did you, and look at you now. Sitting in your pyjamas in the middle of the night, wired to the hilt on too much coffee, surrounded by a bunch of kids toys that you can’t get to work properly. You tosser.
(deal found by Zootaga)