You're not fully dressed without a Bacon Tuxedo
Aftershave? Check. Condoms in the wallet? Check. Pristine undercrackers? Check. Clean socks on? Check. Elastic band around your doo-dah to give the impression of a fuller, engorged member? Check. You've cut your nails and washed your willy and nearly ready to bag yourself a super-hot lady. All you need to do now is practise your chat-up lines and put on your sexiest outfit.
As seen on Failblog, here's the answer to every single man's problems. From Stan's Formalwear, you can bag yourself a suit made of bacon. Well, presumably it's a suit that looks like it's made from bacon. Strut in sty-le and she'll be all over you like a rash-er. I'll kill myself now shall I?