Yorkshire Water want to know what you get up to on the bog

5 February 2010

Yorkshire Water want to know what you're getting up to when you go for a shit. Now, the obvious answer is "I shit." Or, maybe you could answer "I piss."

I suppose the most exotic answer could be from men who go 'for a treat' which means having a sit down slash for no reason at all.

However, Yorkshire Water have sussed all those out. They've probably thought "go for a wank" is a likely outcome of a trip to the latrines. So what are the asking exactly?

Well, they're asking in a poll and the options are this:

What do you do on the loo?

-Read/do a crosswordRead/do a crossword
-Have a bite to eat
-Chat on the phone/text
-Browse internet on a laptop

Okay, I know some people take the paper in with them when they're curling one out and yeah, sending a text or whatever makes sense... but the other two?

Taking a laptop to the pan is a bit much surely? An iPhone maybe, but surely a shit doesn't take so long that you feel the need to take a laptop in with you? Which brings me to the other choice of having something to eat.

Is there a great Yorkshire tradition that I've not heard about where you replace everything falling out of your arse immediately? Do Yorkshirefolk have incredibly efficient digestive systems that see all food eaten instantly erupting from a Yorkshire bowel?

Or is this quite normal and I'm the only person in the world who doesn't feel the need to eat whilst I defecate into a pot of faecal matter covered in water?

TOPICS:   Cool Stuff

15 comments

  • Klingelton
    [QUOTE]Taking a laptop to the pan is a bit much surely? An iPhone maybe, but surely a shit doesn’t take so long that you feel the need to take a laptop in with you? Which brings me to the other choice of having something to eat.[/QUOTE] so - iPhone is becoming a collective noun for smartphones now?
  • Steve B.
    For years I've waited for this moment - an opportunity to truthfully say that I'm having a poo whilst responding to a post on having a poo whilst typing. I am using two hands, I hasten to add. To type, I mean. I'm not that girthsome, nor do I wipe my bottom with both hands. That would suggest I'm significantly younger than my 30+ years. Gotta go, the rusty sherriff's badge needs a polish.
  • David
    I want to know what business it is of Yorkshire Water and how tghey can afford to waste their time on these surveys. Of course, I'm over in United Utilities land where they don't give a shit what you do as long as you pay them loads of money every month to distribute water. These water companies are a joke. I now pay more for water than for electricity and gas combined. Water falls out of the sky FFS and all they have to do is maintain some bloody pipes. I'll stop there.
  • LanceVance
    Yorkshire Water want to know what you’re getting up to when you go for a shit. Now, the obvious answer is “I shit.” Or, maybe you could answer “I piss.” iPiss and iShit, are these the new devices from apple that go with the iPad? I'll get me coat.....
  • Klingelton
    @Steve Blag ah you're not on the one handed websites then. be careful where you put your lappy during the vinegar strokes.
  • Klingelton
    righty, i must visit the little boys room for a wicked yes.
  • Joff
    Mof, which hand do you wipe your bottom with?
  • Bullet
    Is there a great Yorkshire tradition that I’ve not heard about where you replace everything falling out of your arse immediately? LMFAO
  • Maude
    This is honestly one of the funniest articles I've seen on here in a long time. I'm with Bullet on: 'Is there a great Yorkshire tradition that I’ve not heard about where you replace everything falling out of your arse immediately?' So, so funny. Well done, Mof. And I love the idea of 'going for a treat'.
  • Yahoo S.
    Why would it matter, spend 10 secs or 3 hours on it, it's only one flush and that's all they need to know. Perverts, getting off on scat stories.
  • Klingelton
    http://images.google.co.uk/images?hl=en&source=hp&q=scatman+john&gbv=2&aq=0&oq=scatman
  • phil l.
    # Posted by Joff | February 5th, 2010 at 3:23 pm Mof, which hand do you wipe your bottom with? Personally, I prefer to use bog roll
  • Nobby
    The current answers are ... 49% "Read/do a crossword on the loo" 18% "Have a bite to eat on the loo" 19% "Chat on the phone/text on the loo" 14% "Browse internet on a laptop on the loo" 18% eating while shitting. Disgusting.
  • herbygreasemonger
    # Posted by phil laschio | February 5th, 2010 at 4:59 pm Curse you phil laschio!!!
  • Joff
    # Posted by phil laschio | February 5th, 2010 at 4:59 pm Curse you phil laschio!!!

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