Would you like to buy a figure of your unborn baby?
Ever thought to yourself that dolls of babies just aren't young enough? Ever wanted a figure of a baby so young that it hasn't been born yet? Well, creeps, you can thanks to 3D Babies who will make you a copy of a foetus while it is still in the owner's womb.
The company get an ultrasound scan of your child while it is still floating around in amniotic gunk and recreates the position it is sat in, copies its face and skin tone and the horrible present will cost you around £365 with the site saying: "The pregnancy with your child is a once in a lifetime experience. Recall those feelings over again with your own 3D Baby."
Presumably, you can be like one of those weird parents who throws a baby shower (getting pals to eat melted Mars Bars from nappies and the like), having a pre-baby shower, making your friends talk to something that has fallen off a 3D printer and cooing about a thing still growing inside the host like a parasite.
The company say that their goal is to "bring a smile to the faces of parents, grandparents, and other family members as they recall the day that they met their little one," which is not strictly true because holding a lifeless figurine of a thing that can't breathe independently from its mother and has bones like a chewed-up Wham Bar isn't strictly 'meeting' someone.
If that isn't creeped-out enough, you can buy figures of babies you've never met. If you've got the money, you can buy a foetus that was once inside Kim Kardashian, lovingly placed their by Kanye West... which isn't a weird invasion of privacy for new parents at all.
The Westboro Baptists are inevitably going to buy loads of these so they can throw them through the windows of abortion clinics because surely they're the only crackpots who would actually consider buying one of these?