We really need... a hummingbird feeder you can wear on your stupid face

eye2eye 009You can never get close enough to hummingbirds can you? They're so shy and retiring that its believed that they all congregate up Anne Widdicombe's minge (officially the loneliest place on Earth) so no-one bothers them.

So what is the best way of coaxing them out? Boiled ham? Lambert & Butler? A bag of Cheese Moments?

Nope, you need the (and I quote) "AWESOME! UNBELIEVABLE!" Wearable Hummingbird Feeder!

Basically, it's a face shield with a hummingbird feeder glued into it or something. That means, you can feed a hummingbird whilst it unfurls its hideously long tongue centimetres from your eyes.

If you want to buy one, or indeed, follow tediously detailed instructions on how to build your own... or watch a video of the Kendo Nagasaki gone wrong head in action, then click these differently coloured words.

And then move to a country that actually has some hummingbirds. Perhaps you could test it out on thrushes or women down the local with Apple Sourz in the feeder.


  • me
    definitely worthy of a WTF IS DIS REAL?
  • wonky h.
    Could you fill it up with dog food and then bum any foxes that come near?
  • Joanne
    I feel Anne Widdicombe’s pain...
  • NC s.
    I think Anne`s problem is no one is feeling anything
  • Mr G.
    Tried the Shark Feeder version of this. It needs reinforcing a bit...
  • Nobby
    This can also be used for welding. Although you end up with molten plastic on your face.
  • Nick C.
    I’ve done Widdicombe too. She was excellent.
  • Gordon B.
    I agree with Nick.
  • Doyle
    Hi all, Love your sense of humor . . . I get a lot of blogs that just cut and paste what somebody else has said about my wearable hummingbird feeder . . . and then, every now and again, I get something fresh and original . . . thank you very much for the review. But I will tell you, for those of us who HAVE hummingbirds it is an unforgettable experience to have one so close for so long. When they just buzz you, you only catch a glimpse, but to have one feeding for 10-30 seconds right in front of your eyes makes for a very eye to eye encounter. If you ever get by my way (Northern California) please stop by . . . I love to share! Doyle
  • Amanda H.
    I can imagine wearing this for 402.3 hours and not get a single bird to stick its tongue in my hole. Also, the feeder attachment looks like a bespoke pair of pants made for this bloke (NSFW) http://www.redtube.com/21292
  • The B.
    Wow, I very rarely say this but... How old?
  • Naruto
    I’ve done Widdicombe too. She was excellent.

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