The bill? Oh, Jesus is paying for it
You may have heard the phrase "let Jesus take the wheel", but letting Jesus Christ of Nazareth pick up the tab when you've had a gutful of food and horsed a load of booze into you? That's a new one on us.
However, that's exactly what one woman in Lawton, Oklahoma did after she had a lovely evening in a restaurant where she may or may not have broken the gluttony commandment.
Of course, trying to fob your bill off onto a deity isn't the best idea because, as you know, Jesus doesn't have a credit card (debt is a sin) and the holes in the palms of his hands means he can't hold loose change. Kristi Rhines was arrested on the scene by baffled police members at Mexican restaurant El Chico.
It started off reasonably well when Kristi told staff members that she had no way of paying, because her husband would be along to settle the tab.
Sadly for staff, Rhines was convinced she was married to Jesus Christ. Funnily enough, she has no official wedding license. However, she was sure of the return of Christ and that he would "be able to walk in and produce U.S. currency to pay for her bill."
Rhines with fraud and booked her into the Lawton City Jail.
Kristi could've avoided this whole nonsense simply by staying at home and making Jesus cook for her. She would've only had to buy one fish and a loaf.