London gets a 'cuddle café' where hugs equal money
First, we had the cat cafés and then the cereal café, and now, there's going to be one where you can pay for your brew with hugs. You heard. You'll have to hug a complete stranger and turn yourself into an affection prostitute in exchange for a drink.
This is a PR stunt by McVitie's who, with their meme-ready adverts of animals protruding from biscuit packets, are fully behind the infantilisation of adults, which seem to be all slowly turning into dribbling goons all set to lose their lives to tweeness and gaagaaing at fluffy things.
There's going to be pop-up cuddle cafés in central London for two days, where they'll dole out biscuits (invariably referred to as 'biccies') and brews in exchange for an embrace.
Just to add to the cloying sense of adult toddlerdom, there's going to be some owls involved too.
This stunt is all part of an idea of Dr Stuart Farrimond, who is a hug researcher and he reckons that British folk are unhappy with the amount of cuddling in their lives, which he says are vital to our happiness and health. Apparently, hugs help to release oxytocin which reduces stress and increases happiness. That's right - a grown adult telling us that hugs from a loved-one make us happy. He must work for the Metropolitan University Of Stating The Bleeding Obvious.
Dr Farrimond said: "My research not only discovered that cuddling a soft toy triggers a similar emotional response and health benefit to hugging a person, but also that the act of drinking a hot beverage can stimulate similar warm, positive feelings, so what better combination that a cuppa and a cuddle?"
Sarah Heynen, McVitie’s Marketing Director, said: "People are so busy these days, and lead such stressful lives, that we want to offer all of our visitors their very own form of ‘cuddle therapy’ coupled with a cup of tea, cakes, biscuits – and all for the price of a hug."
The gaspingly awful McVitie's Sweeet Cuddle Café will be popping up at 52 Tottenham Street, London on 10th and 11th February. Although, you could just buy a packet of biscuits for 70p down the shops and make a brew at home while sat in a silent, darkened room, thinking 'we've gone to the dogs' if you like.
As an aside, the McVitie's adverts with animals trapped in biscuit packets always makes us think that they'll end up emerging from them dead, which is anti-cute.