For Valentine's, treat yourself to a chocolate head and 'loneliness beds'
Over in Japan, there's a place called Fab Cafe, where you can buy the love of your life something appallingly upsetting - a 3D chocolate reproduction of your horrible head.
The cafe, in Shibuyu, Tokyo, utilises a 3D scanner to take a picture, which they then turn into a mould and then they fill it with chocolate truffle so you can show your loved-one what it'd look like if you were tiny, hiding in a box of chocolates, and inanely grinning all the time, wishing to have your face chewed off, Room 101-style.
The product will cost 6,000 yen (which is around £40) and involves some kind of workshop and you can find out more about it here, if you can read Japanese.
If that doesn't do it for you, you can buy a ménage a trois bed to celebrate Valentine's Day which means you can feel twice the loneliness as you lie in a bed big enough for three that features "beautiful accentuated curves" and "seductive faux leather". Perfect for crying on.
You can see the threesome bed at Archers Sleepcentre who are currently selling it for a discounted price until the end of the month. Spokesman Ian Archibald said: "We have years of experience providing beds for two, but we've always neglected those that need to sleep three."