B&B offers guests the chance to have a llama in their room


If your partner isn't hairy and flatulent enough, why not stay at a B&B in Cumbria, where they'll offer you the chance to have a llama stay in your room.

Llama's Pyjamas charges £40 a night for a room and, for no extra cost, you can have a stinking great beast hover over you while you sleep, shitting everywhere and spitting at your nice clothes while eating all the sachets of instant coffee.

Mary Walker, owner of the B&B, opened the business next to her trekking centre which homes 18 llamas, and she said: "It's like being with a friend. The animals are so relaxing and put you at ease."

"People expect them to be like horses but they are such gentle creatures. They are classed as the dolphins of the animal world."

Dolphins you see, are not animals. If that's the case, we shouldn't worry about them getting caught in tuna nets.

Mary added, talking like a psychopath: "They're like no other animal you will have handled before. They bond with you and cuddle and kiss you but, in the same way, they aren't in your face."

Next week: B&B swamped with requests from bestiality freaks.


  • PJH
    Any particular reason you chose to illustrate a llama story with... an alpaca?
  • Big M.
    B&B offers guests the chance to have a llama in their room..... and fuck it. Then kill it, eat it.
  • samuri
    Mof you prick that's an Alpaca
  • Mof
    Its a shaved Llama you fuckheads. Look it up
  • whasitoya
    Do you think they'd mind if you fuck it, or would they charge more for that?
  • bob
    Hey, you're effectivly renting it (same as the kettle or trouser press), so free to do what you want with it.
  • shiftynifty
    She is obviously a mentalist
  • Chewbie
    Wat da fuk iz dis?
  • Can't c.
    I brought a lama once. Left it on the floor outside, then decided to put it in one of my draws as I didn't want to loose it. I could care less about it now because it died. Chewie is right, I am a fucking moron.
  • Fudgepaca
    It's an alpaca...and I'm a fudge paca. Come here woolly sexy thing.
  • Spencer
    MOF - seriously... it's an alpaca you giant bell-end. llamas have pointy sticky-up ears that curve towards each other. Alpacas have cat-like pointy ears that they can lay flat to their head. If you see a llama/alpaca and cant tell the difference look at the ears. If they stick up and are slightly curved = llama. If they're short, pointy or flat to the head = alpaca. Another spectacular BW article BTW. *thumbs up*
  • jim
    i read somewhere that the vagina of a llama is the closest thing to a human vag. thats my thought for the day
  • digibanger
    Dear Mary Thank you for providing a room for my recent stay at your b&b - however I feel I must complain. Your ad said I could share my room with a llama so I stayed. As It didn't say I couldn't in your brochure, I fucked said Llama - as i read somewhere that "the vagina of a llama is the closest thing to a human vag". Whist nibbling on the Llamas ear from behind, I was stunned to notice that I had to stretch further than usual - my conclusion is that its ears were short, pointy or flat to the head - meaning its an alpaca!!!!. You cannot imagine my embarrassment. A Llama is one thing, but an ugly alpaca? I trust when I return next week, you will have ensure the same does not occur. Yours The Very Rev. Smith PS for the record Alpacas vaginas are like a piranhas mouth.
  • Bendy
    jim: Who checked? is there a website that's rating animal vag? Surely there's a market there for practitioners of beastiality, I'm expecting Google to set this up as a new search engine metatag within days, apparently they have all the info for this anyway...
  • Shiftyniftysshadow
    W.T.F .....is it a llama or alpaca ...or is a iPhone ?
  • Chewbie
    Flex wit da erb Larma or Alpacka just chill and smoke a sensi
  • digibanger
    I'm into bondage, necrophilia and bestiality - my mate says I'm flogging a dead horse tho.
  • wOnKeY h.
    won't somebody think of the foxes ?
  • digibanger
    think.... think.... think.... Foxes - job done

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