B&B offers guests the chance to have a llama in their room
If your partner isn't hairy and flatulent enough, why not stay at a B&B in Cumbria, where they'll offer you the chance to have a llama stay in your room.
Llama's Pyjamas charges £40 a night for a room and, for no extra cost, you can have a stinking great beast hover over you while you sleep, shitting everywhere and spitting at your nice clothes while eating all the sachets of instant coffee.
Mary Walker, owner of the B&B, opened the business next to her trekking centre which homes 18 llamas, and she said: "It's like being with a friend. The animals are so relaxing and put you at ease."
"People expect them to be like horses but they are such gentle creatures. They are classed as the dolphins of the animal world."
Dolphins you see, are not animals. If that's the case, we shouldn't worry about them getting caught in tuna nets.
Mary added, talking like a psychopath: "They're like no other animal you will have handled before. They bond with you and cuddle and kiss you but, in the same way, they aren't in your face."
Next week: B&B swamped with requests from bestiality freaks.