Ball pool nightclub opens for infantile adults

regression Adults are waddling their way back to their childhoods, by dribbling over pussy cats and going to cafes to eat cereal. They're all over the internet cooing at Adventure Time and wearing onesies, which are basically romper suits for taxpayers. You could even go to one and get a cuddle.

Our April Fool joke even talked about regressing back to being an actual baby, but of course, we feared that it might all come true.

Well, in more adult-toddler action, there's a new nightclub that has a soft play area, Lego to play with, a bouncy castle and a ball pit. We assume that the gigantic boobs to suckle on is in the post.

The night was held by Regression Sessions in Birmingham and was billed as a night of "serious music for silly people" and, obvious, it sold out in no time. God help us if there's a war, etc.

The organisers say: "Regression Sessions is a night that does what it bloody well pleases and suggests you do the same. We are tired with always having to choose between quality music events rammed with chin-stroking heads, or venues offering unpretentious fun with a disappointing soundtrack."

"Our aim is return to you to an earlier stage in the psyche when everything was simple and fun was easy. We promise to offer regressive experiences from ball pits and plasticine therapy, to surrealist giant knitting and student art exhibitions."

Surrealist knitting and plasticine therapy, there. We're doomed.

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