The continuing curse of the banana spiders

Another day, another story about man-eating spiders in bananas. A family have once again been forced out of their home by armies of potentially deadly Brazilian Wandering spiders who hitched a ride on a bunch of bananas.

banana spiders

Arachnophobe and father of two Jamie Roberts bought the bananas from his local shop, and when he was putting them in the fruit bowl he noticed they were covered in white spots.

EXCEPT THEY WEREN’T WHITE SPOTS.

They were bazillions of baby spiders, who then scattered all over the windowsill, contaminating the family home. Pest control ordered the family to evacuate the house for three days while the spiders were smoked to death with toxic fumes.

While pest control have yet to identify the species, if they ARE Brazilian Wandering spiders, then they had a lucky escape. They’re world record holders for being the most venomous spider, and if they inject you with their venom, you can look forward to loss of muscle control, breathing problems and death.

‘It was like something out of a horror film,’ gasped Mr Roberts, clutching his chest.

It’s not the first time that Wandering spiders, also known as Banana Spiders, have terrorised the British public. Last year, 29 year old Consi Taylor from London bought bananas from Sainsbury’s that were also crawling with the deadly critters.

Got a banana in your lunchbox? You might want to double check it.

4 comments

  • James E.
    So they gassed the shop and contacted all the people who also brought bananas from there too. I don't think so, loads of BS like the false widow spider shit.
  • Stuart
    IF they are these (Phoneutria sp). [bearing in mind there are 44,540 species of described spiders, and this guy (nor the pest company) with likely no experience with identifying tropical spiders is apparently vaguely trying to photo-match newly hatched young to photos of adults - many of those images online being wrong or misleading anyway ...]
  • jamiemadras
    As somebody who have lived a pathetic self stacking existence for almost 10 years I can tell you I have not once experienced a bite or even the site of a banana 'spider'. Which is a shame because sometimes I wish one would rid me of my sad monotonous veggie fondling life. I call red top bullshiz.
  • Mark
    Posted by James Eadie • March 11, 2014 at 2:10 pm So they gassed the shop and contacted all the people who also brought bananas from there too. I don’t think so, loads of BS like the false widow spider shit. FFS "BROUGHT" FUCKING "BROUGHT" .......... BOUGHT YOU ILLITERATE GIMP! What is wrong with you?

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