Make friends and influence people, buy a tank from Amazon
There's more crowd-sourced amusement to be found amongst the reviews of Amazon; you're already gazing thoughtfully at the Paul Ross canvas while wearing your new wolf t-shirt, but how the herll are you going to get to the shops later? Or invade Poland? Behold the mighty JL421 Badonkadonk Land Tank:
Yes, Bitterwallet reader Paul Rodgerson spotted that Amazon sells tanks (although they've only one in stock right now, so be quick) and it's yours for a shade under $20,000. Why do you need one? Don't ask us, we haven't a clue - re-enacting Return of the Jedi was our first and only thought. But then you can always read everyone else's opinion on the matter:
"The interior comfort leaves a lot to be desired. Since the hull has few windows or vents, you have to run the A/C a lot and this cuts down on the mileage quite a bit. However, we converted the gasoline engine to a biodiesel that runs on bacon drippings, rancid popcorn butter, fry oil and suntan lotion so it's really quite economical to run."
"When it comes to stomping out the Jawa menace in your neighborhood, this is the only way to go."
"I am Blackhawk Pilot in the US Army and I mean this is one of the dumbest things I have seen in my life. $20K for an electric tank. There must be some really bored people in this world. I don't see how anyone could find this remotely interesting. And for the (probably majority) of people making up these stories: get a life."