Lucozade and Ribena sold for £1.35bn

9 September 2013

Our favourite childhood drinks have been SOLD TO THE JAPANESE. Yes, GlaxoSmithKline has offloaded the brands to Suntory for a cool, refreshing £1.35 billion. (If Suntory sounds familiar, you might remember a depressed Bill Murray drinking their whisky in boring hipster perv flick Lost in Translation.)

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GSK decided to offload the well-loved brands in April, so they can concentrate on pharmaceuticals, and Suntory, who also own Orangina Schweppes, are the guys for the job. They hope to globally expand the brands, which have been around since the 1920s and 30s.

‘We believe the future of Lucozade and Ribena is in good hands given [Suntory's] established beverages business, ambitious growth plans and also their recognition of the strong performance and capability of the GSK employees working on these products.’ said GSK head of strategy David Redfern, hurriedly slamming the door on a million orphaned little blackcurrants.

So how will Ribena and Lucozade fare in the global market? Will they become the sophisticated drinks of a new generation? Or will everyone realise they're just sugar-filled wee?

TOPICS:   Consumer Advice   Economy

7 comments

  • Yog S.
    (If Suntory sounds familiar, you might remember a depressed Bill Murray drinking their whisky in boring hipster perv flick Lost in Translation.) Stick to Michael Bay films, they don't strain the thought process too much.
  • M W.
    Boring hipster perv flick????? I really don't think so!
  • What T.
    I can't wait to try the rebranded wibena and rucorade. Hopefully they'll take over Tennant's and rebrand it as something the fucking morons find easier to spell.
  • Grandma N.
    piss off back to cheering at womans hour on radio 4 & leave the man hating off the internet
  • Hoover D.
    Ramune flavoured Lucozade? It's about the only variety the twats haven't made yet.
  • Mary H.
    More like pishy fantasies.
  • shiftynifty
    The shit drinks just got owned....these drinks do more harm than good lucozade contains Glucose Syrup (25%), now that is a shit drink....

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