Just who or what will Tesco ban next?


It’s a bad time if you’re a Tesco customer and a bit of an outsider – in recent weeks, reports of bannings and store ejections have swamped the media. Pyjama-wearers, a bloke in bare feet and a dad carrying his kid on his shoulders have all been told to pack it in by the supermarket giant.

Is Tesco getting too big for its boots? Maybe the company want to encourage some kind of Aryan super race to shop in their stores, excluding anyone who is a bit different – people like Stephen Hawking, Alan Carr and Jarvis Cocker.

It’s a bit worrying and we’ve tried to peer into the future in an attempt to second-guess which misfit sub-group of society that Tesco will hurl out on to the cobbles next.

Thanks to our good friends at bookmakers Paddy Power, we’ve even got some odds for you, in case you fancy a flutter…


8/1     Customers listening to mp3 players
25/1    Morbidly obese customers
33/1    Customers carrying musical instruments
50/1    Customers with walking sticks
80/1    Customers wearing adult-sized nappies
100/1  Ugly old men with beautiful younger women

In addition to that, Bitterwallet will give you 250/1 against midgets and Jedward.


  • Nobby
    I'd lay bets at 25/1 on the morbidly obese. Tesco love these fat c*nts. They spend in a day what most people spend in a month on high sugar, high fat, high profit foods. In fact, I reckon it is more likely that they will introduce T-shirt clubcard points - anyone wearing a Tesco T-shirt will get 1 extra clubcard point at the tills.
  • Fella-Tio
    @Nobby why would they ban these people then if they love them? you didnt think that through did you!
  • Ash
    @Fella-Tio Not much of a gambler are you? If you lay a bet it means that you think it's not going to happen - backing means that you think it is.
  • Nobby
    @Fella-tio Yes I thought it through. That's why I would LAY bets.
  • James
    @Fella-tio I think tesco have a BOGOF on humble-pie
  • David F.
    I'm glad that they have banned these tramps. I don't want to shop next to some manky get who couldn't be bothered to wash and dress to leave the house. Think of the hygiene issues. Plus I loathe women who this pajamas are acceptable to wear outdoors. Again, most of them have probably slept in them before going out.
  • Matt. S.
    Well I'll wager 10 grand at the 80 to 1 odds and then wander into tesco wearing an adult nappy, we'll see who's laughing
  • Tom
    Tesco is full of scum.......atleast it keeps them out of Sainsburys.
  • -]
    I've already had a friend kicked out of tesco for carrying a synth around the shop. I better put some money on musical instruments. Tom, Sainsburys is full of scum too - just like all the supermarkets. David, who says they couldn't be bothered to wash and dress? The vast majority of people I see out in pyjamas look washed, wearing make up and perfume. Some of them even look much better groomed than the people who you (extremely narrowly) view as normal.
  • David F.
    -] | Try shopping in Liverpool, then lets talk about your narrow view of normal.
  • Nobby
    What really pissed me off today was the website http://www.peopleattesco.com/ I thought it was going to be a British equivalent of http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/ Unfortunately it is just a website for Tesco staff.

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