Gyms are even worse than we thought

Three well-known gyms have been kicked in the lycra-clad cods by the Office of Fair Trading for making it practically impossible to cancel membership, it was announced today.

Fitness First, David Lloyd Leisure and Bannatyne Fitness have been ordered to change their cast-iron contracts so that it’s easier for people who might be injured or poverty stricken to cancel their gym agreements.

Bannatynes, run by that well known Dragon’s Den cock knocker Duncan Bananatime, was one of the worst culprits, thanks to it’s ‘policy’ for chasing customers with scarily worded debt collection letters and misleading fake court orders if they failed to uphold their contract.

The OFT started making its investigations into gyms in 2012, and since then several companies have already made terms more flexible.

‘We welcome these changes from Bannatyne's, David Lloyd and Fitness First.’ Said the rather luxuriously named OFT spokesman Cavendish Elithorn. ‘As well as making contract terms clearer, the revised contracts also grant members, and prospective members, more flexibility'

Gym customers certainly will breathe a sigh of relief. Let’s face it, there are plenty of urgent reasons for wanting to get out of a gym contract, like not wanting to pay an extortionate fee to exhaust yourself on a sweaty treadmill next to other grunting lumps of lard.

Usually signed in the pie-addled delirium of January, they’re not really worth the paper they’re printed on anyway - and now we don’t have to fake our own death to get out of them.

Thanks, Cavendish Elithorn, you magnificent bastard.


  • Duncan B.
    I'm oot!
  • Grammar N.
    David Lloyd membership near me is £80-£100 per month, as much as they make it difficult to get out of the contract poverty shouldn't be a reason if you sign up thinking you can afford to pay that for a gym.
  • Justin A.
    LA Fitness near me had a creche, but due to 'lack of demand' they reduced the hours it was operated. No childcare = parents that can't train while the kid/s are looked after, so they had a bunch of parents that couldn't train but still locked into contracts, paying money for nothing even though it was LA Fitness' fault for not continuing to provide the facilities they initially offered.
  • Han S.
    Use your local coucil Gym, mine has all the equipment you need and is £18 per month
  • Justin A.
    As of next month I'm in a new work gym. £10 a month. Screw the leisure chains.
  • pete
    I wanted to be a member of one of these chains but had heard of these subscription problems. There was no way they were getting any bank account or credit card details from me. I told the staff that I'd pay each month in cash for as long as I wanted to be a member, and I'd pay on my first visit of each month. They told me that was an impossibility and subjected me to their double glazing/used car salesman waffle, but then found a way to do it. As a special favour to me. After 5 months I left. Just tell them what you want.
  • badger
    The running of our council gym has recently been handed over to Serco. Even though it is technically of charitable status, membership fees have now gone up from £20 a month to £35 a month. So not very charitable to the locals whose council tax paid for it to be built in the first place then.
  • Sarah
    thanks to it’s ‘policy’ for chasing customers *its. Seems Grammar Nazi is not doing their job.
  • Mike O.
    @Sarah *it's is correct.
  • Andy
    I canceled three family memberships this year.Now L A Fitne$$ are trying to extort about £300 out of us. All the usual bully boy tactics. Thanks to separate Birmingham high court case they'll be getting NOWT except maybe a counter claim if they keep harassing us. Sorry Mike, hate to say but Sarah is correct :- its = belonging to / whereas it's = it is Much as I love the apostrophe :(

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