Fitness First tries to keep everyone in the gym after January

Getting a gym membership in January is basically like signing a contract with ‘I AM A USELESS SLOB AND WILL FAIL’ written at the top of it. In fact, two thirds of us will have already quit the gym by February.

Bitterwallet - Fitness First complaints

But to stop terminal gym apathy, Fitness First is set to unveil a £270m three year strategy to keep bums on treadmills.

Actually, at first glance, this rather pricey strategy seems to involve taking all the treadmills out– which will come as a blow to regular gym users who just like to turn up, sweat, and bugger off.

To replace the machines, Fitness First plan to go all touchy feely and new age, and get to the psychological root of our inability to stick with the gym. Gym members will get an assessment of their ‘biological age’, and will be given apps to track their progress.

In an attempt to differentiate Fitness First from all the other gyms out there, they also plan to re-trail all employees and will require them all to have a fitness qualification by 2015, so that they can help with personal training and run high intensity workout classes called Tabata.

Personally there’s nothing that’s more likely to keep me out of the gym than the phrase ‘high intensity workout’, but Fitness First’s new boss Andy Coslett intends to take the business to the TOP. He said:

‘What Fitness First failed to do in the past was to make a strong enough case for itself as a brand and what it stood for. The low cost clubs have come in with very little in terms of human interaction and support and they are boxes full of equipment.

That’s fine for some but for most people our research tells us if you want to stay on your fitness journey you need more human support than that.'

Ugh. He said ‘fitness journey.’

*eats a pork pie*

What do you think?

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