Don't call me baby - Britain hates friendly companies

Two thirds of British people despise corporate chumminess on the phone – especially if you cold call them about double glazing during dinner, it was revealed today.

In an survey by Ask Jeeves (aw, remember them?), us Brits don’t want some jumped up little call centre brat saying ‘hi’ and pretending they know you just so they can ask you a tedious question about your banking. We also hate baristas writing our first names on coffee cups, and when Facebook asks ‘how are you doing today, a fifth of us throw our laptops at the wall and yell obscenities at the sheer presumptuousness of it all.

In a triumph of good old stiff upper lip Britishness, a third prefer to be addressed by Mr or Mrs when dealing with besuited corporate entities. Welsh people hate friendly f***ers the most, with 38% of people preferring a formal approach. In Scotland, however, 21% said they didn’t mind a bit of chat, but presumably that’s because everyone is drunk.

But will companies take heed and start giving us a bit of respect? Or will we continue to be patronised and sucked up to by sale assistants, ‘friendly advisors’ and bottles of Innocent smoothies who insist on treating us like we’re BFFs?


  • Dr Z.
    [ In Scotland, however, 21% said they didn’t mind a bit of chat, but presumably that’s because everyone is drunk.] A filthy lie I say. Chewie was sober for 20 minutes in 1987.
  • chewbacca
    Still the most famous chap on the site. Keep at it guys! You fucking morons.
  • shiftynifty
    Lucy...your such a babe
  • Obi-Wan
    @shiftnifty *** You're *** such a cretin, you can't use "you're" properly. Don't you pay attention on this site? And you didn't make the obligatory insult to that sweaty-sock, Chewie...
  • Captain W.
    @Obi-Wanky-Knobby You're right, of course. But he'll still get the girl. Birds just don't appreciate intellectual heavyweights, they prefer kindred spirits.
  • Dick
    If I have time to waste, every time they say my name I reply by saying a random name. Yes Pete. No Tim I do not like extra fees. Can that really be done Rachel? No Mustafa, I don't have that insurance.
  • Pizza_D_Action
    @Dick, You mustafa insurance.... or what will you do if your house burns down.....
  • shiftynifty
    Obi-Wan....You`re a twat...and Lucy is still a Babe
  • Mr C.
    I don't have a problem with their chummy approach, it annoys me that they always call during Eastenders!!!
  • Captain W.
    @shiftnifty Through your unusual use of capitalisation, I presume you're referring to the star of the film?
  • Her L.
    At least on Bitterwallet when someone calls you a twat you know they're being genuine.

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