Clowntown Birthday Showdown
What kind of monster goes into a children’s play centre brandishing a birthday cake and then starts singing ‘Happy Birthday’ to their daughter and her friends?
That monster is heating engineer Colm Doherty. He recently spent £300 on entry fees, food and drink at Clowntown Children’s Centre in Muswell Hill, only to be told by staff that he couldn’t sing Happy Birthday or bring in a cake because he hadn’t paid for their special party package.
Mr Doherty had contacted the centre beforehand to arrange a party for his 8 year old daughter Cara, but was told there was no availability. So he decided to go anyway – cos it’s a free country, innit? When he spotted that one of their party booths was free, he asked a member of staff whether they could use it – and they said yes. But he didn’t realise that nothing is free in CLOWNTOWN.
‘When the cake came out you could sense a bit of nervous tension among the staff, and one particular lady came storming down and told us that we could not sing and to put the cake away,’ Mr Doherty said.
Mr Doherty shielded his child from the jobsworth woman and told her to go away. But Clowntown’s chief idiot and manager Ian Slazenger claimed Doherty was being aggressive, and said that it was their policy that ‘you don’t celebrate a birthday party on our premises unless it is the package you obtain’. Then he called the POLICE.
Never mind that Mr Doherty actually paid more than the birthday package, and they didn’t even eat the birthday cake on the premises. What a bunch of (literal) clowns. The manager is lucky Mr Doherty didn't shove a bouncy castle up his arse and start inflating it with a bike pump.