Britain lives in filth

Remember Mr Trebus, who lived amongst mountains of poo in carrier bags? Well the rest of the UK are also guilty of being squalid hoarders, according to a survey by market research group ICM.


One in five of us has oceans of rubbish we don’t need in our houses, clutter that could fill an entire room. And one in 20 say that they’ve actually tripped over their clutter. Over 65s are the worst, seemingly unable to throw out their stairlift catalogues and old copies of Puzzler magazine.

Men, however, tend not to hold onto their clutter for as long as women, and are more ruthless - having a clearout every three years. But 42% said that they don’t bother to clear out clutter, because it’s a ‘hassle to get rid of.’

Instead we prefer to surround ourselves with towers of clutter, eventually dying and forcing our relatives to rake through thousands of empty yoghurt pots and elastic bands.

I don’t know about you, but I find this quite heartening. Despite a slurry of lifestyle shows featuring people who demand uncluttered living spaces and airy minimalism, it’s quite comforting to know that most of us live like Stig of the Dump, picking our teeth with an old biro while sitting on a mountain of festering crap.


  • Chewbacca
    Indeed, people belonging to certain demographics/cultures are more likely to live in utter filthy hovels whilst driving BMWs/Mercs. Funny, that. The fucking morons.
  • james
    Oh look, an organisation wanting to get it's name in the paper (this time the Royal Voluntary Service) commissions a "survey" that happens to mention the over 65s and how they live in clutter, which just happens to chime with the work they do. Hows about that then? All surveys (and more news stories) seem to be sponsored these days. Survey by Ikea finds people love flatpack Survey by Fosters finds people love drinking piss Survey by Bitterwallet finds commenters uncommonly interested in the back half of foxes.
  • What T.
    ^Sponsored by people called Jim acting like little girls. Drinking Tennant's.
  • Shiftyniftysshadow
    I bet your filthy ...Lucy
  • Chewbacca's M.
    #Woo-woo# Son, A'm the wan that wiz garbage. You dinna huv tae be as well. You wee moron.
  • Chewbacca
    @Shittynitty Learn the difference between "your" and "you're". How hard is it, you utter fucking cretin? People like you should be gang raped by black American convicts then slit open with a rusty knife, dumped in the desert and have vultures pick you apart with their claws. You utter waste of skin. You total fucking moron.
  • Rubber J.
    I used to like Trebus mints. Not any more.
  • Touchwood
    I believe Mr Trebus said that they could stick it up their chuffs.

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