There are two things in life people just shouldn’t mess with - your mum, and chocolate digestives. So the news that McVities have quietly changed their chocolate digestive recipe, hoping that nobody would notice, is the sort of thing that would make a mild mannered bishop kick a hole in a stained glass window. I mean, just don’t. OK?
The new biscuits are apparently ‘3% more chocolatey’, and have a less crunchy base, but NOBODY CARES because the old ones were nice. Not only were they nice, they were a British tradition. You may as well give the Queen a tit job and turn Nelson’s column into a giant cock.
A Which? taste test revealed that 19 out of 30 people preferred the old school chocolate digestives. Plus they found that the 3% more chocolatey claim wasn’t even true – in fact it’s closer to 1% extra chocolate. Tasters also claimed they were ‘too brittle to dunk.’
United Biscuits who own McVities, defended the move from under a table, whimpering: ‘the feedback we’ve had is that people like it.’
KILL THEM. KILL THEM ALL.