1977 - an old man forsees online ticket fraud...

10 September 2009

Lordofthefiles_Clive_Dunn

Back in 1977, when I was just five years of age, my old grandad used to sit me on his knee and say: “Son, you can never completely trust a website that sells tickets to music and sporting events.”

He'd suck hard on a Werther’s Original and continue: “By the time the year 2009 comes around, and I’m long since dead and gone, one in ten people will have found themselves ripped off and left out of pocket from dealing with one of these bogus ticket-selling websites.”

“It sounds scary Grandad - tell me more,” I would say, and so he did. Patting me softly on the head, he’d add: “You shouldn’t worry yourself too much son - before 2010, the OFT and Consumer Direct will launch a campaign to raise folks’ awareness of the illegal practices and a young singer called Kate Nash will have her say.”

“She’ll tell the world: “I think it's disgusting, scamming people who want to go to gigs and have a good time. They just get ripped off and disappointed, turning something positive into something negative. People should check that the website selling the tickets is legitimate before they buy their tickets.””

“Grandad,” I’d ask, “what’s a Kate Nash?” to which the old man would chuckle and say: “She’s not been born yet, but she’ll be a very popular young singer when you’re a middle-aged man. Although to be honest lad, if someone gave you a fake Kate Nash ticket, you’d think it was your fucking birthday.”

And then he’d chuckle, fall asleep and his false teeth would drop out of his mouth. Sweet dreams Grandad…

TOPICS:   Consumer Advice   Technology

7 comments

  • Tom P.
    I like this new style of writing articles, a lot easier to comprehend.
  • Joff
    I think the BW team are adopting this new writing style across the board to prevent other sites from half-inching their articles. Although it would be nice if the Telegraph started cutting and pasting from here.
  • Craig
    @Joff. Would make me chuckle no end to see the line "if someone gave you a fake Kate Nash ticket, you’d think it was your fucking birthday.” in the Telegraph!!!
  • The B.
    My grandad used to make me suck his purple salty lolipop, never got any gig tickets, werthers originals or Kate Nash references.
  • ball_sack
    I'm liking it Kate Mash is one annoying helmet
  • Hamster b.
    Posted by The Real Bob | September 10th, 2009 at 4:05 pm My grandad used to make me suck his purple salty lolipop, never got any gig tickets, werthers originals or Kate Nash references. I used to get a salty cream reward, sometimes he played 'pee pee' games with my bottom :oops:
  • Tom P.
    Hum, pedo granddad open season tonight

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