15 month high for food inflation
Our energy is about to become more expensive than unicorn shit and our food is pricier than it's been in ages. Essentially what we're saying here is that we're all going to die.
Inflation on food is at a 15-month high, thanks to rises in wheat and oil prices, according to the British Retail Consortium (BRC), increasing to 4 per cent in September from 3.8 per cent in August. Sharp rises in wheat, oil and corn prices have been the main reason for the increase.
The vaguely good news is that, although commodity prices continue to rise, it looks like the price of wheat and corn may have hit a price ceiling, so in the short term, things won't be getting drastically worse. But we are still all going to die.
BRC director general Stephen Robertson told Farmer's Guardian: “Food inflation is at a 15-month high as the effect of earlier rises in wheat and oil prices work through to things like bread and meat but these production costs appear to be stabilising now.”
He didn't add: "But you'll all be dead by the time the price comes down, so it doesn't pissing matter does it?"
Food retailers have compensated for this by increasing the level of promotions in recent weeks, but there's nothing they can do about our impending doom.
In short: Start telling people you love them because if you don't starve to death, you'll probably freeze yourself into a coma.