Weasel found in Asda salad
You've heard the joke that starts 'waiter, waiter, there's a fly in my soup'. Well, everyone is upping the game lately. A while ago, we found horses in our lasagne, and then someone caught a frog in their Nando's salad.
Now, Asda are offering mangled baby weasels in their products, as one lady found such a thing in her salad leaves.
Rifat Asghar was tucking into her salad, when a colleague spied a clump of fur. Rummaging around in her meal, she then found a leg. Then a tail. Then something that looked like an eye. Delicious.
So, not wanting to cause a fuss, she went back to the shop and was offered a £5 voucher. Then, Asda heard that it was a mashed up weasel, so they upped their offer to £100 in vouchers. She turned that offer down, because going to the papers gets you more money, obviously.
Talking to the Mail, she said: "It has caused me a lot of trauma. I initially thought it was a mouse, and for about a week afterwards I had weird dreams about mice coming out my mouth. They say it was in there from when it was harvested. What happened to all the checks done after that happened?"
"If something like that can go through all their processes and checks it worries me. I has completely changed the way I shop now and I can't buy any prepared food any more. I'm having to make it all myself. It was so traumatising."
Making your own tea from scratch is pretty traumatising.
An email from Asda's tests confirmed that this was a chopped up rodent, saying: "The specimen was very badly damaged, showing some skin, fur, a leg joint, a foot and tail. It was concluded that the complaint specimen was most likely the remains of a young member of the species Mustela nivalis, the weasel."
"It was not possible to determine where the specimen could have originated from due to the lack of distinguishing features. It is in the opinion of Insect Research and Development Limited that as these weasels would not usually come indoors, the specimen may have been accidentally harvested with one of the components of the salad."
"Unfortunately, despite our best efforts and process controls it appears the foreign body has been picked up from the field during harvesting and has managed to by-pass all our trained eyes and washing processes."
Anyway... waiter, waiter, there's a weasel in my salad... quieten down, or everyone will stoatally want one.