Commercial Break: Stop pouring your hot fat into our Lynn this Christmas!

Here’s a kind of public service announcement from The Singing Sewermen of Thames Water, urging us not to pour hot turkey fat down the drain this Christmas “because it cools in the sewers, sets hard and causes horrible blockages.” We can think of a few other things we’ve seen struggle round the U-bend that might fall into that category as well. But we digress.

To hammer home the message, the sewermen (and women) have recorded this, their own version of God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen, but as they’re all from London and they’ve recorded it in a fucking sewer, it’s a bit tough to figure out what they’re barking on about.

We’re pretty sure that we picked up the line “Put your fat in the rubbish in the bin, not in our Lynn,” at about 18 seconds but to be honest, the rest of it could do with a bloody good subtitling. And who is ‘our Lynn?’ Is that a pet name that has been given to the London sewage network? Some kind of secret code? We fear we must be told.

Incidentally, did you know that an estimated 500 tonnes of fat – the equivalent of 1.8 million standard blocks of lard – goes down the Thames Water drains every December alone? If you think really hard about it, it's exactly the same as driving a giant bus made out of cancer straight through a tiny matchstick village that has been built by starving orphans.

It’s a hell of a lot of gunk for our Lynn to shift too….


  • Tick T.
    No, it's actually worse than the cancer bus.
  • The B.
    Cool, I'm having goose so I can pour the fat straight down the drain then?
  • Ben M.
    SO how many people were waiting for their pipes to be fixed / water to come back on while this was recorded? HMMM? *froth*
  • Richard
    jesus Christ guys, give these poor souls a break, whilst you sit on your **** and type these vindictive messages they're down in the sewers wading thru all your ***** cleaning up turkey fat blockages so you can continue to spout crap from both your mouth and your ****.
  • Lard
    Its "Put your fat in the rubbish in the bin, THROW IT ALL IN. Put your fat in the rubbish in the bin. Merry Crimbo!!
  • Hi O.
    That's a lot of potential biodiesel being poured down the drain; quite a waste. for the UK as a whole, approximately 3 million tonnes of the stuff gets tipped down the drains every year. That's enough to power plenty of cars, busses and trucks...
  • Jilly
    Hmm, couldn't focus on the words as I was wondering what those beeping, er, beepers were round their necks. Have we moved on from canaries then? Oh, that was the mines....

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