Commercial Break - John Lewis Christmas is so sickly you'll get diabetes
John Lewis have been throwing their money around on Christmas adverts for a while now in a bid to try and shoehorn the feeling of event TV on us (like Guinness adverts or people gurgling that it isn't Christmas 'til you've seen the red Coca Cola lorry on telly).
This year, they've gone animated, with a commercial so saccharine that after one viewing, all your teeth with turn brown and dissolve out of your mouth like curry paste.
As you can see, a rabbit makes friends with a bear and they buy each other presents. There's owls and foxes too because no advertiser will ever forget about the hipster pound.
In the director's cut of the advert, the bear attacks all the other animals before having sex with their cadavers and then answers the question: "Do bears crap in the woods?"
Merry bastard Christmas.