Christmas costs £445 each. Bargain.
It's the 26 November. That means there is exactly one month until the Christmas shenanigans are over for another year. That’s right, in 30 short days from now, you will be several hundred pounds lighter, but sorted for socks, bath salts and ties. Falalalalalalalalala.
A new moneysupermarket.com survey has discovered that we will, on average spend £445 each in the season of goodwill, which is actually 1.8% higher than last year. Must be inflation. Also, 35-54 year olds plan to splash the most cash, at £491 per head, beating the over 55s by almost £70. There is also a regional spread of yuletide generosity, with the most money being spent by those in the North East and Wales, and the least by those tight-fisted sorts in the East Midlands. Seventy-three per cent of people anticipate spending most of their Christmas budget on presents, with parents planning a £132 haul per child. The old lady who lives in a shoe is being talked down from the roof as we speak.
In fact, almost half (47 per cent) of the parents surveyed said they feel under pressure to spend more than they can afford on their children and a third (34 per cent) said they are prepared to spend whatever it takes to give their children a happy Christmas. The price of satsumas and a couple of lumps of coal must have really gone up recently.
Still, things can’t be that bad. Thirty-two per cent of us are planning to purchase a present for a pet this Christmas, spending on average £7.85 on extra treats for an animal who has no idea about omniscient beings or their offspring, nor what day it is, and who very definitely are not going to buy you a present back. Get real people.
Still, with only one payday left (or two if your employer takes pity on you and pays you early in December just so he/she can watch you squirm in the last week of a very long January) until the big day, better hope you’ve got some savings to pay for it all. Or go and sell something expensive on eBay*…
*eBay rules prohibit you actually selling your children on eBay, even if you know you could buy them back for half the price in January. Other online selling sites are available.